these words don't belong to me

This thesis, and its companion exhibition, uses my writing as the primary source in its written and visual iterations with a focus on memory and trauma. I examine the “auto-” as it relates to the self while adopting my lived experience as the main subject matter. The goal of this thesis is to expand the idea of the “auto-” beyond the singular "I" and to include the impact that other people and extenuating, situational circumstances leading to/after trauma impart on the self. Through my firsthand account of trauma, I question what it means to heal using visual arts as well as what it means to exhibit artwork embedded in pain to the public. Taking an autotheoretical approach combined with trauma and narrative studies, this paper intends to shed light on my own experience navigating trauma during a pandemic.